Fantasies and Realizations

I went to the Gettys show at Flying Saucer last night and, as usual, the band was awesome. The place was packed and most of the band followers I know were there. I managed to stay through one set before a combination of pain and longing made me bolt. The pain was easily explainable (a combination of not enough beer, a bad back, standing up too long and sore ribs from a hacking cough) but the longing part took a bit of introspection (more beer might have helped here too).

On the drive home, I came to the realization that “I need a girlfriend” – yeah I know, not a real shocker, but hey… So, in an analytical fashion (I am a systems analyst after all), I proceeded to come up with the specifications for my perfect girlfriend. Basically, she would have to be smart, pretty, not too old (or too young), fun, somewhat sane and have a MAJOR sense of humor. The real shocker came with the next thought….

Shit, I don’t think I would be willing to date anyone that would be willing to date a guy like me!

After that realization, I proceeded to evaluate the girls I’m attracted to – whether or not they are currently attached (hence the fantasy part)…

A couple are old enough but not mature enough. One is young enough but too mature. A couple are not quite sane. Several are too young and would almost certainly kill me. But, a couple pretty much meet the specifications except that one moved out of state and the other, while quite mature, is simply too young.

Does this make me shallow? Probably. Does this mean I’m going to continue to be the 3rd wheel? Almost certainly. Does this realization make me happy? Absolutely not!

Oh well, I guess I will continue to be a sideline relationship observer… On the up side, it’s harder to get hurt by a relationship if you don’t have one – unless in the long run the longing is more painful.

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